...of course you'd ask that!!!

"Okay, so....tea, cakes, sandwiches and savouries are ready! My house is clean."
I was so excited about Mr Death coming to visit today! I stood and clapped my hands with glee. I was sure that Mr. Death would be impressed with the knowledge on life I had managed to attain, procure and steal. I loved speaking to Mr Death about "life". I knew it was silly. Talking to Death about the subject of living. I mean, what would Death need to know about living in the first place. Mr Death had always said:

"The moment of clarity just before my "clients" join me...is an expression that makes my work worth the heart ache. Even if, said "client's" final destination left little to be desired...if you catch my drift. In that solitary instant, all in the world is as it is meant to be."

I usually replied with: "I'm Maaori. We don't believe in the "drift" concept "The North" have with death. We (Maaori) talk to our dead directly." At which point, I squared Mr Death with my eye and ended my statement with, "..as you already know." Pretending to be bored with his lack of applied knowledge of my background.

But today was a different story. I knew I had lots to tell Mr Death! And on a subject that, for a along time now, had eluded my logic. LOVE!!! ooooh.

Knock, knock. He's here!! Yah! A shiver of chill swept my spine when I realised this was an unusual response to Death calling, but over the past few months I had developed a respect for Death. I felt that, even when Mr Death did come to visit me for real. I would still harbour that respect, even if my final destination sucked.

"Kia ora Mr Death" Leaning into hongi Mr Death was always an adventure. As well as being very ironic. Mr Death's discomfort for hongi was obvious. However, he always humoured me, by taking part. Applying his knowledge of my background this way, pleased me every time. It was usually the only part of our encounters where I consistently felt I had the upper hand. Today would be different. I would have the upper hand throughout our whole conversation.

With the type of excitement that, only a child that suffers from A.D.H.D or a cheerleader hopped up on sugar, could posses. I invited Mr. Death to have a seat. Placing a hot cup of tea in front Mr Death. I took my own seat next to him and started our hui.

"So, Mr Death. I have some great things to share this week!!" Smiling my arse off.

"Really?" His reply was as dry as always.

"Yep! I learned about "LOVE" Mr Death. And I think I've got it all sorted out now." I flicked my eyes in his direction to see if I had his full attention. When I was sure I did, I continued.

"Well, I thought a lot about Love. So I decided to research the subject. I asked my lecturers, fellow students, friends and family what they thought about love. From there, I sat down with all the research I had been attained. And now I have a firm academic understanding of LOVE."
Mr Death usually rolls his eyes at this point, anticipating verbal diarrhoea, but this time he just sat and waited.

"Right, a common comment, by most of the people I talked to, about Love. Is that "Love conquers all." And that there is no greater power in the world. So, I was thinking that if this is true...love would over-come death too" I knew this would please Mr Death to bits. He got a thrill out of the ignorance and arrogance of the living. I flicked my eyes at him again.

"Right?" replied Mr Death.

"Yep. You see the living need Love to be living. With Love, we the living can accomplish anything and everything we put our minds to. It is my opinion that Love inspires, like the little Beethoven dude. His love for music had him writing symphonies even when he went death, I mean deaf. Love motivates, like when Burt Munroe re-built a perfectly functioning Indian motorcycle, and turned into a speed eating death machine...that cuz loved going fast. Love satisfies, like when I'm at the marae. Whatever the reason. I will have very little sleep, rest or free time. Yet, when I leave, I'd be all the richer for being there. Because I got a big "feed" of love. What do think?" I asked, hoping Mr Death would just want me to keep talking.

"Interesting."

"Love. I've got it sussed. It is the most powerful emotion in the world and it's free. I had read somewhere, or saw it...whatever, "Love is the one thing that can not be bought or sold, traded or negotiated. It can only be given." So, Mr Death, even when things suck big time. I'll just remind myself about how inspirational love is and I'll be back on track. LOve will be my first line of defense and first course of action...I'm made" I sat back in my chair. I was pleased as cheese, with what I had stated. I was sure Mr Death wouldn't have any issues with LO(ve now. I had researched and compiled my thought nicely...expressing my findings quiet concisely. I turned to Mr Death, and as I topped up his cup with tea, sure there were no questions he could think of, I asked: "What do you think?"

Mr Death picked up his cup and sipped from it.

"I'm please with your research. It was informative and well thought out!" I agreed eagerly.

"I've learned a lot from this little session"

I was confident that there would be nothing else he would want know. But he did. And with his one single inquiry, Mr Death managed to strip me of the confidence that I possessed only moments before.

"So, my child. With the thoughts you have shared with me, can you tell me this?"

My blood started to rush and my thoughts started to race. What would he ask! This time Mr Death looked square into my eyes. "Here we go!!" I thought. He asked:

"Can you tell me? How does "LOVE" feel?"

AUE!!